“Like I should have something important enough to know when
it happened.”-Angela Chase pondering her uneventful life as compared to her
parents’ generation while studying JFK’s assassination in her sophomore social
studies class.
In 1994, as I embarked on my freshman year in high school,
My So-Called Life was that memorable event.
I remember clipping the feature story on MSCL that appeared
in Newsday the summer of 1994 and deciding that this was going to be a show
that I was going to watch. Series
creator Winnie Holzman had grown up just one town over from me on Long
Island. The show’s impact was immediate.
I dyed my hair with Manic Panic trying to capture Angela’s “crimson glow”
though settling for more of a cherry Kool-Aid.
In the years that followed, as I outgrew dressing like Angela for
Halloween and going by the names Angelica and Rainie with my closest
girlfriends, the devotion continued in other ways such as seeing Wilson Cruz in
Rent on Broadway seven times and quoting Angela Chase in my senior year book:
“Because if you made a book of what really happened, it’d be a really upsetting
book.”
I was born during the low-birthrate years of the twilight of
the Carter administration, sandwiched between Generation X and the Millennials.
Generation-defining events like Berlin Wall’s collapse, the first Iraq War, and
later Columbine and 9/11 fell outside the boundaries of my more innocent and
analog suburban high school experience. Over the years, I discovered anyone
born a couple of years before or after me never watched MSCL during its
original poorly rated run on ABC, maybe catching the show later on MTV or one
of the eventual DVD box-sets. A week before the 20th anniversary of the show’s
debut, I sat down to rewatch all episodes of MSCL in a marathon viewing to see
if the show still defines this narrow Generation Catalano, a term popularized
by Doree
Shafrir at Slate capturing the in-between uncertainty of not quite knowing
where we belong in this world, like a high schooler perpetually searching for
the right table to join in the cafeteria of life.
MSCL is virtually void of pointed political time markers
that define the era, aside from the occasional Clintons reference. When Angela fights censorship in the school’s
lit magazine she declares, “It may not be a war protest or a civil rights
demonstration but it’s all I’ve got.” (That and Kurt Cobain’s death which peers
out at us from a Rolling Stone cover.) “When someone dies young, they stay that
way” Angela declares; the same can be said of the short-lived series which
never had chance to age or outstay its welcome.
I seem to age in reverse as I immediately conjure up memories of crushes
and broken hearts while laughing, crying and smiling simultaneously as Rickie
and Delia Fisher dance to Haddaway’s “What is Love”—immortalized by the duo at
the World Happiness Dance. Fashion, however, does mark the ‘90s setting with
younger sister Danielle Chase’s crimped side ponytail, scrunchies galore and
unisex oversized plaid shirts and overalls.
Parents easily eavesdrop on landline phone calls in this era
before cell phones and hand-written notes and bathroom gossip spread rumors,
hatred and insecurity as cruelly but not as anonymously as one can online. Prior to social media, time moves more slowly
with every conversation analyzed and reanalyzed, stories such as Rayanne’s struggle
with sobriety unfolding over much of the series with nary a contained very
special episode in sight. Storylines dealing
with teenage drinking, homelessness, homosexuality and bullying, guns and the
anxiety over losing one’s virginity were addressed realistically and straightforwardly. Were Angela Chase a virgin in 2014, she might
have found, “Losing your virginity isn’t as awkward as it was 20 years ago” according to a recent study examined at Salon.
Angela’s parents now seem so young as I’m far closer to their
age than to their daughters. Actor Tom Irwin (Graham Chase) was just 38 when
the show debuted. Family friend Camille Cherski laughs when Patty Chase has her
pregnancy scare in the episode “Why Jordan Can’t Read”—as though it’s a
preposterous idea to be pregnant at age 40. However in the last two decades the number of
births to women between the ages of 40-44 has more than doubled. Angela’s parents while not exactly embracing
middle-age were not in denial of it.
MSCL was still more than two years removed from Ellen
Degeneres’ “Yep, I’m Gay” Time cover story and Rickie Vasquez’s unspoken and
eventually verbalized admission of being gay in the series finale is still
revolutionary. Rickie was lacking in familial
support and role models and adults and teenagers alike found him “confusing”
making his sensitive self-actualization all the more brave considering his
hostile surroundings.
The Pittsburgh-set show was shot in Los Angeles but fake
snow, colorful autumn leaves and frequent downpours block cheerful greenery
from view creating an intimate atmosphere well-suited to Angela’s voiceovers
and teen angst. The fictional Liberty
High was multi-ethnic, suburban and notably lower-middle to middle-class in
sharp contrast to the students who were sharing the small screen at the time
over in Beverly Hills. MSCL didn’t
glorify the teenage experience but held a mirror to its moody pendulum of emotion
for the students who never thought to vie for class president, quarterback or
prom queen.
Angela has so much free time as compared to the structured
over-scheduled lives of today’s teenagers. After her former best friend Sharon Cherski
lists her afterschool activities: dance committee, student council, yearbook,
band, etc. it becomes more apparent that Angela doesn’t pursue a single
activity or interest. While even Jordan Catalano has his band “Frozen Embryos”
and Rayanne scores the part of Emily in the school’s production of “Our Town”,
Angela can’t even claim devotion to studying or an after school job as
occupants of her time. “Promise me you won’t let boys drain all the fun out of
your life,” Sharon knowingly asks of Danielle. But the advice would be better
suited to Angela, who is defined by an unhealthy obsession with Jordan Catalano. My teenage self never noticed that Angela has
no vocalized goals or ambitions besides Jordan but my present self is amazed at
the omission. Perhaps all the better to project our own teenage selves on the
television screen?
Debuting a few years shy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
Dawson’s Creek and Felicity as well as the retro That ‘70s show and Freaks and
Geeks, My So-Called Life remains unique for giving voice to an in-between
generation otherwise lacking in small screen representation. While Baby Boomers have cornered mainstream cultural
nostalgia and Millennials are the consumer and media darlings of the present, Carter
babies are left with few societal identifiers.
Perhaps what defines this generation is a shortage of defining
characteristics, which makes My So-Called Life all the more valuable and at
once specific and timeless.
